A Guide to Using "You" in Korean

Among the many intriguing aspects of the Korean language, the use of second-person pronouns stands out as particularly complex due to its layered levels of formality and politeness. This guide aims to shed light on the common ways to say "you" in Korean and provide insights into when and how to use them appropriately. Whether you're a language learner, a culture enthusiast, or just curious, understanding these nuances is key to effective and respectful communication in Korean settings.

The informal "you": 너 (neo)

The most casual way to say "you" in Korean is 너. This pronoun is only used between very close friends or family members who are of the same age or younger than the speaker. However, it's a no-go zone in adult conversations with someone you're not super tight with. The misuse of 너 could easily come off as rude or disrespectful, a faux pas you'd want to avoid. So, when in doubt, it's safer to opt for more polite alternatives.

The ambiguous "you": 당신 (dangshin)

You may have heard the word 당신 in Korean dramas and think that it is a formal way to say "you" like "Sie" in German. However, this is not the case. 당신 is actually a very ambiguous pronoun that can have different meanings depending on the context and tone. 

Here are some of the possible uses of 당신:

  • Between couples: 당신 can be used as a term of endearment between married couples or romantic partners. 
  • As a rude way : It can be rude to say "당신" or "너" when you are angry or annoyed with someone. For example in a fender bender situation, you might say “당신이 신호를 위반했잖아요! (You violated the traffic signal!)” although saying “너가 신호를 위반했잖아!” is way more rude. You should really careful not to use “너” even in a casual conversation. Some people might react to even 당신 like "뭐? 당신? 내가 왜 니 당신이야? (What? YOU? Why am I your YOU?)“
  • As a formal third person pronoun: 당신 can also be used as a respectful way to refer to someone else who is not present. For example, "선생님 당신께서 말씀하신 것입니다. (This is what the teacher said.)" However this is a really formal way to say and can lead to misunderstanding even to Koreans.


The polite "you": using titles and 선생님(seonsaengnim)

Normally Koreans use the listener's title instead of a second person pronoun. For example, you can say "사장님은 영국에 가보셨어요? (Have you been to UK?)" to your boss or "선생님은 괜찮으세요? (Are you OK with this?)" to your teacher. 
But what if you don't know the person's name or title? In that case, you can use 선생님 as a general way to say "you" in a respectful manner. 선생님 literally means "someone who is older than me" but can be used to show respect and politeness regardless of the listener's age. For example, if you visit a local government office, the staff will call you 선생님. However, this use of 선생님 as a general way to say “you” is quite an up-to-date way. In the past, 선생님 was usually used to refer to teachers. So, some people might respond like “I am not your teacher” when they are addressed as "선생님".

A guide to using "you" in Korean


Grasping the different ways to say "you" in Korean is akin to unlocking a new level of cultural fluency. Whether it's the casual 너 among close peers, the ambiguous 당신 that demands careful use, or the respectful approach of using titles and 선생님, each serves its purpose in the intricate dance of communication. Remember, language is not just about words but the worlds they create and navigate. By mastering these pronouns, you're not just learning to speak Korean; you're learning to speak it with heart, respect, and an understanding of the culture that breathes life into every syllable.


Comments